Sunday, April 27, 2008

Why Do I Do This?

Okay, I haven't written anything in just about forever it feels like, but I really got to thinking about this and it made me want to write.

A friend sent a video to me and I opened it up and saw that it is a song called "Sleep" by Savatage. I was already familiar with this song, actually. I love it. So, in my infinite wisdom, I open the video and watch and listen. Sure enough, by the end of the song, I am in tears. I have yet to ever - EVER - make it to the end of this song without tearing up. I don't know why, but there you go.

That got me thinking about all of the phenomenal songs that have this emotional pull on me. Frankly, music is life in my world. I can't live without music and I like a little bit of just about everything. In any given genre there are those songs that I can't hear without tearing up, though. To me, that is one standard of truly GOOD music. Lots of music is nice to listen to, but just doesn't have the same viscerally emotional punch that good music has.

Some of the songs that really get to me on an emotional level are "Don't Take the Girl" by Tim McGraw. From Les Mis "Come To Me", which is the scene when Fantine dies. As a parent, that one is devastating. Also from Les Mis, "A Little Fall of Rain" which is taking place as an interaction between Eponine and Marius as Eponine is dying. From the Disney cartoon movie Dumbo, "Baby of Mine". Again, as a parent, it means more to me watching Dumbo's mother singing this song to her child, knowing that he has been taken away from her, and feeling the pain that would cause any parent, than it ever could have before I had my daughter. It is always the emotion that has to do with being a parent that gets me. Really, who can watch the movie "I am Sam" with Sean Penn and Dakota Fanning and see the scene that has the song "You've Got to Hide Your Love Away" by the Beatles and not cry? I can't even hear that song anymore without tearing up. Cheesy as it might be, "My Heart Will Go On" by Celine Dion from the movie "Titanic". Still. Every time.

Another one from a movie is "I Know You're Out There Somewhere" by The Moody Blues from the movie "A Summer Story". The ending of that movie was tragic and the song will always reduce me to sniffles for having seen and loved that movie. A good number of the songs from the musical "Rent", too. One that is not from a movie or musical is a traditional song called "A Health to the Company". This is one that has been used for an end of the day closer at my local renaissance faire and particularly, amongst the cast, as a season closer. It is how we said "goodbye, I hope to see you again" to each other. Sometimes we did, sometimes our friends had moved on to other pursuits. No matter what the outcome, we always knew that we were in the thoughts of each other.

Above and beyond any of the others, though, is one from the musical "Wicked". The song "For Good". It is a really moving song about friendship and touching the lives of our friends, but it has a double dose of emotional pull for me now. My best friend was moving back to Florida and, after a day spent packing the moving van, it was finally time for her and her family to leave. There are hugs and tears all around, especially since I have no idea how I am going to survive now that my closest friend won't be a quick car ride away anymore. They leave and the group of us at her house stay until the van has moved out of sight. All of us are hugging and crying and offering comfort to each other before leaving for the last time. Being a private person with my tears and emotions, I am a bit moist around the eyes, but not actually crying. After everyone thanks ME for being the strong, emotionally stable one who they took comfort from, not knowing how I was feeling, what with that whole privacy thing and all, I get into my car to go home and just starting up on my XM (set on the "On Broadway" station) is "For Good". That was when I broke down and cried. It was a bit of a while before I was able to put my car into gear and semi-safely attempt to drive. I just can not hear that song anymore without associating it with the night my best friend moved and the sadness that I felt. She touched my life in so many ways that she changed the whole of who I am. ...Like a hand print on my heart...

Of course, now I can't think of any others, but as soon as I hit the publish button tons more will come to me. I guess that I will just update this then. For now, however, those are some of the songs that bring me to tears every time.

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