Friday, February 18, 2011

A Particularly Virulent Strain of Stupid

At some of my previous homes I have been pretty fairly successful with chasing off the Jehovah's Witnesses and causing them to not come back. The ones here where I live now are either far more tenacious or far more stupid. I can't decide which, though.

So, here's what happened. Today I am down with the flu or something. I was up all night feeling horrible and I finally drifted off to sleep and suddenly the dog started going bat-shit crazy. This was at around 9:30 or 10 am. Since the dog thinks he is some big huge horse sized guard dog, he barks and jumps and occasionally snaps a bit. He isn't, he is a Chihuahua/Shih-Tzu mix. (What I have been informed is called a "dammit dog") That being the case, I always close him into the living room when someone comes to the door. Today was no exception. The dog was barking and hopping around in front of the door and I was trying to corral him into the living room and during this fiasco I did something and feel this ungodly pain in my finger. I look and see that I had snapped my index finger nail off above the quick and it was hurting. First "UGH!!!" moment.

I got the dog put away and opened the door. Keep in mind that I had just gotten to sleep and wasn't fully awake yet and sick on top of it. I look like death tried to eat me, couldn't handle it, and crapped me right back out at this point. I opened the door and there were two women in their early to mid 50's or so waiting. I was standing at the door with a blank look on my face and they started to talk. I shook my head and tried to focus and one of them gave me a look of disapproval and asked if they had woken me up. I told them yes and that I was pretty sick. So, what did they do? It wasn't apologize and turn around to leave. No, these stupid broads started preaching at me.

I told them that I wasn't interested and that they were being rude and slammed the door. That was all I could manage right then. Unfortunately.

Really, how stupid do you have to be to be told that the person you are harassing is sick and instead of apologizing and leaving (or even just plain leaving in silence) you start preaching at them?!? Holy Christ On A Cracker! Look, I don't come to your door and preach to you the evils of an organized religion that harbors a child molester and rapist and justifies and excuses his behavior and kicks out of the church his victims. (I'm looking at you Yorkville Baptist or whatever the hell your name is now.) So why, in the name of all things chocolate, would you think that I would appreciate this proselytizing from anyone else? I'll clue you in: I don't. I've asked, told, demanded, and begged these damn cult members to stop coming to my house and they just can't take a hint and they keep coming back.

I'm wondering if it would be illegal to put a sign on my door that says: "If you are a Jehovah's Witness and you knock on my door, understand that you might not be leaving." No, I'm not really going to hurt any JW's, but on days like today, the temptation was nearly overwhelming. If these people don't want me standing outside their kingdom hall during their services disrupting them, they should very seriously consider avoiding my house like we are infected with the bubonic plague.

This kind of virulent strain of stupidity is just going to cause me to be increasingly creative in my attempts to get rid of you. Be smart. Next time I tell you to leave and never come back, understand that ignoring me is going to get some increasingly more inventive and rude ways to tell you occurring. I am long past feeling bad for being rude to you people, and even more so today than previously. I hope to Aqua Buddah that you catch whatever it is that I have today. It would serve you right and make me feel a little better. Petty, I know, but I'm too tired and sick to care right now. Maybe later.

Take care,
Cindi